


Ducks and Kittens

by City_Of_Weird



Series: The Chaotic Children [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Ducks, F/M, Idk what to tag this as, M/M, Multi, Sassy Alec, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-26 15:58:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18720316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/City_Of_Weird/pseuds/City_Of_Weird
Summary: Clary starts a group chat for the “kids” of the institute, chaos ensues.(The first chapter are the text messages, and the rest are drabbles that go along with the first chapter.)





	1. Ducks and Kittens

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this years ago, and it’s also posted on FF.net so don’t be surprised if you’ve seen it there too. 
> 
> Also I still own nothing. I recently received a glittery, pink pen which is cool though.

_A\N: This is after Heavenly Fire but Max is still alive and Simon is a bloodsucker still. Enjoy._

**\\\\\\\\\**

Clary Fray\Fairchild made a group chat called: _**We've saved the world MORE than once, so stop telling us what to do.**_ _On:_ _Thursday_ _at:_ _5:36pm_

5:36pm _Clary:_ Hey, everyone. I started a group chat. Thought it might be easier to send one message than 5. Anyway, does anyone want to come to Luke's farm with me for the weekend? :P

5:36pm _Izzy:_ Yeah. Xoxo

5:37pm _Magnus:_ Sure biscuit. One question, who all is on this group chat?

5:39pm _Jace:_ Well me of course, Maggie.

5:40pm _Magnus:_ Who added you?!

5:40pm _Jace:_ Clary of course.

5:41pm _Magnus:_ WHY?!

5:42pm _Simon:_ Clare, why did you have to add the dumb blond?

5:43pm _Jace:_ BLOODSUCKER!

5:44pm _Clary:_ Anyway, Magnus, it's Jace, Izzy, Alec, Simon, you, and me.

5:48pm _Alec:_ You stink Magnus!

5:48pm _Magnus:_ What?! Why would you say that Alexander? I just took a shower, and with my starwberry shampoo, too.

5:49pm _Alec:_ I also think you use to much glitter.

5:50pm _Magnus:_ What has gotten into you? First you try to shorten my life, now you tell me I use to much glitter. How dare you!

5:52pm _Simon:_ Well...

5:53pm _Izzy:_ Alec, for you have brought shame to this family, glitter is perfection.

5:53pm _Magnus:_ Thank you Iz, and Alexander you have also brought dishonor to the cows of New York.

5:55pm _Clary:_ I'm not getting in the middle of all this, but shouldn't Jace be jumping all over this?

5:56pm _Alec:_ ugh...

5:59pm _Magnus:_ Btw just walked into the bathroom and found Jace on Alec's phone... thought that might be vital information.

6:02pm _Izzy:_ JACE!

6:03pm _Izzy:_ I'm telling Alec.

6:05pm _Alec:_ Sorry, just got my phone back from Jace.

6:06pm _Magnus:_ Don't worry hon, Izzy and I are going to make him pay. MWHAhahah

6:08pm _Alec:_ What are you guys doing?

6:09pm _Clary:_ One, what are ya'll going to do? Two, what was with the dishonor to your cow mumbo-jombo?

6:11pm _Simon:_ Please tell me ya'll are going to do something good.

6:13pm _Magnus:_ We are. And just wait.

6:18pm _Jace:_ There is nothing in this world that can scare me!

6:20pm _Izzy:_ Liar

6:21pm _Simon:_ Oh, Just found out there plan... Jace you are doomed.

6:24pm _Clary:_ Can I know the plan? I am still holding a grudge against you for not letting get that cat...

6:26pm _Izzy:_ I wanted that cat too. So even more revenge. Yay

6:30pm _Jace:_ But we have Church... Babe come on.

6:32pm _Clary:_ Tessa took Church back...

6:33pm _Magnus:_ Oh, yeah, she did. Didn't she. Huh

6:42pm _Clary:_ Just found out the plan...Jace don't go in your room!

6:44pm _Simon:_ Clary...

6:45pm _Jace:_ Clare, babe, I'll be fine, trust me.

6:46pm _Clary:_ Look, Jace, I might still be mad about the cat, but trust ME, you do not want to go in your bedroom.

6:49pm _Jace:_ Ye have little faith.

6:50pm _Clary:_ Fine. But if you do scream, you have to let me get the cat...

6:53pm _Jace:_ Deal.

6:54pm _Izzy:_ New kitty, yay!

6:59pm _Jace:_ No "New kitty", I will NOT scream. Opening the door now...

7:00pm _Clary:_ I warned you...

7:01pm _Jace:_ WHY THE HELL IS THERE A BLOOD THIRSTY BEAST IN MY ROOM!? Ya'll are so dead, once I get my hands on you!

7:05pm _Clary:_ I tried to warn you babe. Now since you screamed, do you want to go Monday or Thursday to get Mr. Wiskers?

7:06pm I _zzy:_ As I said new kitty yay!

7:06pm _Simon:_ Sorry, Jace your stuck with the deal we all read it.

7:07pm _Alec:_ yep

7:08pm _Magnus:_ hahahha

7:10pm _Jace:_ But we didn't shake on it...

7:11pm _Clary:_ Jace...

7:13pm _Jace:_ Fine, but we will get it Monday, the sooner we get it the faster I can kill it.

7:14pm _Clary:_ You kill my cat Jace Herondale I will maim you. With our own blade!

7:14pm _Magnus:_ Jace, how dare you even suggest such a thing! Cats are wonderful creatures.

7:15pm _Alec:_ That's low even for you.

7:16pm _Izzy:_ NO!

7:17pm _Simon:_ Don't even think about it Jace. Clary and Izzy both want the cat time for you to suck it up!

7:21pm _Clary:_ I'll also tell Maryse and Robert about it.

7:22pm _Jace:_ Oh, no. They so scare me. Haha. Don't worry it'll be gone as soon as we get it.

7:24pm _Clary:_ I'll also tell Max...

7:24pm _Jace:_ Fine I won't kill it.

7:27pm _Jace:_ But it isn't sleeping with me.

7:28pm _Izzy:_ We'll see about that.

7:33pm _Clary:_ Back to the point of why I made this chat, who all is going to the farm with me, tomorrow at three p.m?

7:34pm _Alec:_ Yeah.

7:35pm _Magnus:_ I'll be there. 3

7:37pm _Simon:_ Sure.

7:38pm _Izzy:_ Why not.

7:40pm _Jace:_ You know I go anywhere you go.

7:41pm _Izzy:_ Other than the duck pond...

7:42pm _Simon:_ Hahaha, true.

7:50pm _Clary:_ It's ok Jace, I wouldn't want the ducks to "watch" you.

7:52pm _Magnus:_ This is just to good.

7:53pm _Alec:_ Why don't we just lay off Jace for a while? We already got him with the duck.

7:56pm _Jace:_ Thx Alec. It's a perfectly normal fear. It even has a name. Anatidaephobia.

7:58pm _Magnus:_ Moving on. Why don't we turn this into a roadtrip instead of using a portal?

7:59pm _Simon:_ Sure.

7:59pm _Clary:_ Your limo though.

8:01pm _Magnus:_ Done.

8:03pm _Alec:_ Ok

8:04pm _Jace:_ HELL YEAH!

8:05pm _Izzy:_ Yay. Roadtrip!

8:05pm _Clary:_ Meet at the Library for the roadtrip. Gtg bye guys love ya'll.

8:08pm _Izzy:_ Ok, girl. Love ya too.

8:09pm _Izzy:_ One more thing Jace.

8:11pm _Jace:_ What?

8:12pm _Izzy:_ Quack.

8:14pm _Jace:_ ISABELLE!

 


	2. Revenge is definitely not Anonymous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the Drabble that goes along with a bit of some of the texts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still own nothing.

Jace slowly crept through the halls of the institute, making sure no one was anywhere in sight. If he wanted to get away with this, nobody could know. Glancing down the hall behind him, he softly called out. “Hey, Alec are you up here?” 

 

When he received no response, he pushed open Alec’s door, and began to look around. Sitting atop the dresser, was Alec’s phone. He hurriedly snatched it, making his way to the bathroom. As soon as he shut the door, he leaned against the sink, to put his plan into action. 

 

Once he opened the groupchat Clary had created, he typed the one thing that he knew would cause a little mischief, and get his revenge on Magnus. 

 

_ “5:48 pm Alec: You stink Magnus!” _

 

What Jace had not expected though, was the reply. He’d expected something sad, and shocked. Not disappointment, and finding out the fact that Magnus used Strawberry shampoo. That was just not something Jace wanted to know. 

 

“ _ 5:48pm Magnus: What?! Why would you say that Alexander? I just took a shower, and with my starwberry shampoo, too.” _

 

Jace reread the text to make sure he saw it right. If that wasn’t going to get the reaction out of Magnus, he wanted, Jace was just going to have to hit harder. It took him a few moments for him to come up with something that would do the trick, but once he came up with it he knew it was the perfect thing. So he did just that, he mentioned glitter. 

 

“ _ 5:49pm Alec: I also think you use to much glitter. _ ” 

 

Jace was ecstatic at the response he received. 

 

“ _ 5:50pm Magnus: What has gotten into you? First you try to shorten my life, now you tell me I use to much glitter. How dare you! _ ”

 

For a few minutes everything went smoothly until Clary pointed out the fact that Jace should have been jumping all over this. Patting his pockets, Jace soon realized he didn’t have his phone on him, and took quick action. Typing out his response,

 

“ _ 5:56pm Alec: ugh… _ ”

 

Just then the bathroom door banged open, and Magnus stood in the doorway. Jace’s mouth hung open in shock, as Magnus spoke. “I knew Alec would never say something like that. I tracked his phone, and here I find you. The wordsmith behind all those nasty things that were so un-eloquently texted.”

 

As Jace finally closed his mouth to respond, Magnus took the phone from his hands and disappeared down the hallway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You only receive one song for this note and that song is....
> 
> Bad At Love, by Halsey


	3. Finding Killer, and Watching Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yep I still own nothing, thanks for asking tho.
> 
> Enjoy your crack and cringe gremlins.

Just as Magnus was walking out of the Institute, he received a text from Izzy, asking if he wanted to extract revenge on Jace. It didn’t even take a moment of thought before he texted back.

 

“6:04pm Magnus:  _ of course darling. What did you have in mind?” _

 

In no time, Izzy had texted back, telling Magnus her genius plan. It took a few minutes for Izzy to get to the institute for them to get the “supplies” as they had dubbed it. Though they’d texted Clary’s new group chat that they had already done something, they had yet to find a place they could get what they needed with little trouble. 

 

Just as Magnus was going to suggest that they do something else, Izzy spoke, “Simon would know where we could get a duck that wouldn’t attack us if we tried to grab it. I’m going to call him, give me a second.” 

 

Izzy was on the phone for a very short time, explaining everything to Simon very quickly. Magnus could only hear Izzy’s side of the conversation, but it seemed relatively easy.  

 

_ “Hey babe, I need a duck.”  _

 

_ “No, one that like won’t bite Magnus, and I.”  _

 

_ “Alive, Simon. Alive.”  _

 

_ “Yeah it’s for what Jace did to Magnus. We are going to  _

_ put it in his room. Scare the daylights out of him.”  _

 

_ “Okay, thanks. See you soon.”  _

 

Simon was in front of the gates handing Isabelle a harmless looking duck, before he was gone again in an instant. The only thing he said before he left was, “This is Killer, he’s super sweet. Don’t let Jace kill him, he’s also a friends pet. Bye.” 

 

Magnus looked at the fluffy, little beast, a look on his face that told Izzy he had decided something. Something that he wouldn’t change his mind on. He narrowed his cat eyes before speaking his mind, “I’m going to put a protection spell on Killer here so Jace can’t kill him.” 

 

Izzy didn’t even have to think before she agreed. She stroked Killers back, looking at him while Magnus cast the spell. For a duck called Killer, he sure was cuddly. Magnus huffed out a breath when he was done, patting the ducks head. Magnus withdrew his hand before addressing Izzy, “Let’s go. We need to get this done before Jace gets back.” 

 

As they snuck upstairs to put the duck in Jace’s room, they heard a series of beeps that was Magnus’s phone. It was Clary calling, and Magnus decided to answer. Him and Izzy has been keeping up with the groupchat, occasionally adding their input, but otherwise not really interacting with anything else. 

 

Before Magnus could give Clary her customary greeting from him that was,  _ Hey Biscuit _ , she spoke over him, “Magnus what are you planning?” 

 

“Well hello to you too Biscuit.” Magnus replied, his voice holding a light, airy tone. Izzy looked at Magnus, mouthing a question. Not able to understand, Magnus brought his hand to cover the bottom of the phone just as Clary demanded what he was up to again. 

 

_ “What.” _ Magnus whispered, looking towards Izzy with one perfectly raised eyebrow. 

 

Izzy’s tone was hushed when she repeated, “Is that Clary?” Magnus just nodded his head. “What does she want?” Izzy asked. 

 

“She wants to know what we are doing.” Just as Magnus said this, he realized how long of a silent pause there had been on the phone. 

 

Clary’s voice came through the speaker once again, her voice questioning. “Magnus, are you there?” 

 

Removing his hand, Magnus spoke. “Of course Biscuit. Sorry I was just watch a Mime do the Macarena, let me tell you it’s a sight.” 

 

Magnus could hear Izzy hold back a giggle, before she whispered, “Just tell her.” 

 

“That’s a lie. Our dear Izzy, and I are planting a duck in Jace’s room. Well tata Biscuit, we must continue our mission.” Magnus said, his voice quiet, and slow, before he hung up. 

 

They reached Jace’s room, and set the duck down on the floor to do as he pleased, to wait for Jace. They had shut the door to make sure that Killer wouldn’t escape, and hid in the room next to Jace’s. Magnus cast a short spell so they could see into the room, without Jace being able to spot them. 

 

For a few minutes they watched Killer strut around the room silently before he flew up onto the bed, and settle there. Izzy, and Magnus waited patiently for a few minutes. They were on their phones for a short time, watching Jace make his way towards them, and towards their revenge duck. 

 

When Jace opened the door, all hell broke loose. Killer stood up, flapping his wings, making noises Magnus hadn’t know a duck could make. Him, and Izzy had watched as Jace’s eyes got incredibly wide, before he screamed. 

 

Magnus, and Izzy had been laughing so hard they hadn’t heard Jace slam the door shut, and make his way to the room they were hiding in. When the door banged open with a frazzled looking Jace, Magnus hurriedly made a portal for him and Izzy to escape Jace’s wrath through. Magnus landed on his and Alexander’s couch, figuring Izzy probably landed at Simons. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song time woop woop. Sadly I only have one for you this time. :((
> 
> * Time Flies, by Z Berg *
> 
> I actually only found out about her bc of Ryan Ross but her music is actually really good, if you’ve listened to The Like (her old band) please let me know and suggest songs. I plan on checking them out at a later date but definitely at some point. Peace goblins <3

**Author's Note:**

> More music recommendations. Woop woop! 
> 
> 1.) Situations, by Escape The Fate 
> 
> And 
> 
> 2.) Voices, by Motionless In White


End file.
